I was a mess and still am after Monday’s SUM chapel. I realized there was a God- sized hole in my heart that needed to be filled and I had been meeting that need, or so I thought I was, with making myself busy. When God does something, I’m quick to share it so allow me to explain this a little further: You would think that for most people, being confronted with God’s love is amazing, beautiful and just a wonderful experience. In Kim Walkers words “You’re never the same after you encounter the love of God!” Of course, there is no questioning this. For me unfortunately, this hasn’t been the case though. I guess you can say that His love is scary to me.
You’re probably asking yourself right now, “how is it possible that love could be so scary; Especially God’s love.” Love has been a very difficult concept for me. Not that I don’t know how to love or have never loved. We have a saying at our church that we like to use when we’re pumped about something: “GO HARD OR GO HOME!” God has wired me in such a way that I either Love hard or go home! And as a result more than a few times, I’ve been left broken hearted. So throughout time, I’ve just swallowed these feelings and moved on, never replacing that emptiness with what belonged there to begin with- GOD.
During chapel, the word was being spoken and I became confronted with the truth. Hebrews 4:12 says, For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” The message version says “We can’t get away from it-no matter what.” There’s power in His word and there was just no running from it there because I had to be there. I couldn’t escape it so I just listened.
As the word was spoken, it was as if God himself was standing before me declaring His love for me. Now, I read the word, pray daily, but have always avoided God when He wanted to pour out His love for me. I didn’t want to get hurt again! I was tired of getting hurt…tired of the let downs, tired of feeling like there was something wrong with me and that it was close to impossible for someone to truly love me. Love has always seemed conditional to me and to be quite honest, it is. But for God, conditions don’t exist.
A few weeks ago I read the entire book of Genesis for a bible study I was having and realized something. If God does not work in time because He’s eternal and knows the end to the beginning, then He saw what this world has become way before the foundations of the earth… and still made us. He saw how we would treat Him and how we would deny Him and break His heart daily, but He still loved us and created us! WOW! This blew my mind. Knowing this and understanding this is two different things. You can know this because you read it before or were taught this on a Sunday during service, but really taking time to take that kind of love in changes you.
So I changed the page and continued to read something else because I didn’t want to be confronted with His love. I was scared yet again. On Monday, when I had that encounter with God, everything changed. Kim Walker was right! I realized that human love is conditional and honestly, it always will be. Our love for one another had a beginning; it didn’t always exist. But God’s love has always been. He loved us before the foundations of the earth (Ephesians 1:4) and knew us before we were in our mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5). He adopted us as His regardless of who we would become one day: “In love hepredestined us for adoption to son-shipthrough Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—“(Ephesians 1:5).
I leave you with this last thought and pray that this would open your heart as was mine to His real, true, everlasting, eternal, unadulterated and unchanging love: Imagine you walk into an adoption place and you look around and see two babies that catch your attention. You’ve really fallen in love with both of them but can’t decide which one to choose. The social worker decides to help you out and says, “We know exactly how both of these children will turn out in the future. We know what kind of men they will be and how they will impact the world.
Here is their description. After you read them, let us know who you will be taking home.” One of them will grow up to be Adolf Hitler, the other Ted Bundy. After finding this out, how many of you would take these kids home? To know that after loving them so much, helping them to take their first steps, taking them to their first day of school and going through life with them, they would grow up to be evil men, hated by many. That’s what God did… He chose to adopt the Adolf Hitler. He didn’t decide to love us less, He simply chose to love. I will truly never be the same after encountering the love of God and realizing He has adopted me as His daughter simply because He loves!