Jam 4:1-2a NIV – What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.
“I’m not a mind reader!” Have you ever said that to someone? If you haven’t, that only means that you’re single and your day is coming. Normally, the person saying it is a husband trying to justify for his lack of picking up on his wife’s unspoken cues. However, in his defense, I want to point out some simple, yet profound ways to avoid the F word. Frustration. It normally finds a doorway into our lives when we have false expectations or when expectations become demands.
Let’s address the latter. When an expectation becomes a demand and the demand isn’t met, we internally become frustrated and we begin to shut down and block out others because we didn’t get something we thought we deserved. This attitude has the potential of destroying great friendships and even marriages. Jesus tells us to love the Lord and love others. I’m pointing this out in order to reveal how anemic our love is towards others and how much we love ourselves. Even though some cases can be innocent, it still harbors a selfish nature that expects without mentioning a word. Let’s do away with bad habits that cause quarrels among us and voice expectations to our loved ones and church family. If our expectations are let down, let’s remember that the greatest among us is the servant of them all.
False expectations, on the other hand, can be unrealistic expectations placed on ourselves. Whether it’s, “I want to paint my whole house in one day” or you expected to have a degree by now or you hoped to be married by now. I want to encourage you with a scripture. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21). If it didn’t happen, move on and trust that God’s plan for your life is far greater than your own. Instead of living frustrated because something didn’t go according to how you planned it, revisit those goals and include an “In Jesus name” after it. Our wanting to know the detail of our future is rooted more in fear than trust, so stop asking “Are we there yet?” and enjoy the journey.