YES, WE ARE ASKING FOR HELP
by Melissa Leon
In this season as our church is moving and in the middle of a complete building demolition and renovation, I am beginning to feel like I have been through this very familiar season before.
In my last season of church planting with my husband, Pastor Fabi and Mari, along with our great young-adult friends, I realized something very quickly. The pastors and their wives needed extra help in that season and we were reluctant and afraid to ask for it. I was pregnant with my daughter Anaiah while my husband worked tirelessly to supply for our family, as we had no source of income. Simultaneously, he was meeting with our church members and was also demolishing and rebuilding our first church property. This left me at home the majority of the time while everyone was happily building and joyfully being a part of the church plant. Pastor Fabi and Mari were right there with us; working hard, pulling late nights, sacrificing money that none of us had, taking time away from our families and biting the bullet of church planting in a very “ministry welcoming” city. Please don’t misunderstand my heart. I loved being home incubating my baby bean, but a huge part of me (no, not my belly) wanted to be a part of the church’s renovation, but it just wasn’t possible- partly because I didn’t ask for help when I could have, but didn’t always know how.
You may say, “Well you’re a pastor’s wife! Of course you will ask for help from anybody in the church. Right?” Wrong. Often, people may see us on Sundays with a big crowd of people. This doesn’t always mean we might be comfortable asking them all for help or mentioning, “Hey, my family is exhausted. We need sleep, food, or a hand to move things around our homes since our husbands are literally building the church right now”. Let me say it this way: being in a leadership position in a church is a very vulnerable and oftentimes scary place to be. Why? Well, because people are people, and as much as we love them and try to offer them the best that we can (His word, His Son and love) it is not always quite enough for some and so we are left with wondering, “Did I say something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I scared them off?” And for these reasons it’s not always easy for us to ask for help or say, “My husband has been building our church and I need a little extra help with _____. Would you be able to come over and see how I have been living the last few weeks? Would you like to come and see my mess?” Asking for help is very humbling. It shows that we can’t do it alone and that we need someone else, when our human nature tends to be quite prideful and says we don’t need anyone. Our Christianity says “Ask, seek, knock (Matt 7:8), Ask and it will be given (Matt 7:7), Love your brothers and sisters (1 John 4:7), Be hospitable (1 Pt 4:9), Practice humility (Phil 2:3-4)” etc. Is this easy for any of our seven pastors wives to do? No way! Do we reluctantly ask for help and then jump for joy inside when it’s given or offered or just done? Absolutely! But please remember it’s not always easy and we may not all be as forward as I am writing this blog right now, which someone may hate me for lol. Yes, I LOL’d in my blog.
With all of this being said, please don’t read this as a pity party blog either. As Latinos might say, “Ayy bendito, babe help them”. Please don’t help us out of pity, but help us out of love. Remember that our families and children would love to be a part of the renovation and rebuild with our husbands more than anything! We understand the calling and ministry of Titus 2:3-5. We love and embrace it, but being side by side next to our husbands and fellow church members in this season building the Lord’s church would mean so much to each of us, just as it does for you. Why am writing this? I don’t know. It wasn’t planned. I just don’t want to miss out on a moment, as I’m sure none of us do! So, let’s love on each other, serve one another and help those wives and families whose husbands are sacrificing so much. A quick text: “Hey I have an hour and a half, would you like to go say hi to your husband?” ” I know you’re pregnant, do you need some extra help?” ” I know you have little ones at home, how can I help?” ” I know you are a newlywed, can I keep you company?” Trust me when I say it goes a long way!
We gladly lay down our lives for the kingdom and sacrifice what our King asks of us without a second thought. Would you help us to also have memorable moments with our spouses in this season of renovation, demolition and rebuilding of the walls? We love you all so much and we know what a beautiful, loving and serving church we are privileged to be a part of, so yes we are asking for HELP.